


Exit Wounds

by SETI_fan



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Family, Gore but in a sort of humorous context?, I'm sorry percy, Love, Surgery, Your indignity is just such a great source of humor, spoilers for episodes 68 and 69
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 10:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14542605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SETI_fan/pseuds/SETI_fan
Summary: Not that he was complaining. Percy wouldn’t be alive today without the power of his friends’ magic. And certainly in all the chaos and emotion after his temporary death, they couldn’t be blamed for minor details slipping their minds. It was hardly a common situation to deal with. And arrows at least were obvious, what with the shaft sticking out of the wound and all. Of course you would remember to remove those before doing a healing. Bullets were, by nature, a smaller presence.Which was why he now had several of them healed into his body. Not that he was complaining.





	Exit Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a weird little story, but hopefully others will like it besides just me. The idea came from talking with a guy at my local comic book store who was running a D&D campaign for kids and taught them about the importance of detail by having them accidentally heal arrows into wounds if they forgot to say they removed them first. And I had a weird thought about how healing works if that's not specified in-game.
> 
> Also, I realized after writing this it doesn't quite fit the real timeline, so we'll just say it happens some nebulous time not TOO long after Percy and Vex have gotten together. (I would say a few months after, but I don't think this would fit with canon then.)

Magic was a wondrous thing. Percy had seen it manifest objects out of nothing, manipulate minds to turn enemies into allies, and even, that one time, regrow half of Vax’s foot through the divine power of healing. It could do mighty and mind-boggling things. But as a tinkerer, Percy knew that, sometimes all too literally, the devil was in the details. Great power could still be flawed if not thought through fully.

Not that he was complaining. He wouldn’t be alive today without the power of his friends’ magic. And certainly in all the chaos and emotion after his temporary death, they couldn’t be blamed for minor details slipping their minds. It was hardly a common situation to deal with. And arrows at least were obvious, what with the shaft sticking out of the wound and all. Of course you would remember to remove those before doing a healing. Bullets were, by nature, a smaller presence.

Which was why he now had several of them healed into his body. Not that he was complaining.

There were two he was certain of. It was reasonable to assume there were more, including fragments, scattered throughout, but he couldn’t tell where. He _could_ feel one lodged under his ribs on his right side. It fortunately didn’t seem to be stuck in any organs and was unnoticeable most of the time, but if he bent the right way or shifted into the wrong position, he could feel it grate against the bone just a bit. Not enough to be painful, exactly, but still…present.

The other was less irritating, but had the oddness of being noticeable from the outside. It had apparently come to rest not far under the skin above his left hip, causing the slightest bump above the ridge of his pelvis. It wasn’t really visible if you weren’t looking for it, but could be distinctly felt if you pressed against the skin, a hard mass of metal just below the surface. Most of the time he completely forgot it was there, but every now and then as he was getting dressed or bathing, his fingers would brush across it and he would get a weird, hard to quantify feeling for a few minutes.

Fortunately, all of these effects were minor enough to conceal without any real effort. He had no intention of making the others aware of the remaining bullets. The whole death and resurrection thing had been traumatizing enough, especially for Vex and Keyleth. It would only be cruel to reveal their attempts to heal him had actually sealed the weapons of his demise into his body.

The whole issue managed to remain unknown for quite a while, long enough that Percy himself mostly forgot about it. But life took on some interesting developments in that time as well, and to Percy’s surprise, but pleasure, he found himself getting to know Vex on a level he had never before considered or assumed plausible.

Their latest stay in Whitestone allowed them a fair amount of time to themselves, which Percy and Vex seized greedily. Percy’s old room wasn’t exactly the luxurious master bedroom he would have preferred for such an endeavor, but Vex seemed to like it regardless and the bed was large enough to suit them both comfortably.

Contrary to some of the party’s insinuations, their liaison was more than just mere rutting. Neither Vex nor Percy had had much opportunity for simple, quiet intimacy in their lives, and Percy found there was great pleasure to be had in just enjoying each other’s presence and contact, whether that led to more active physical engagement or not.

On this particular evening, they were together in the bed, idly chatting and tracing kisses and caresses across each other’s bodies, content in the lazy familiarity. Percy was murmuring something smooth and charming into Vex’s neck as her hands slid around his waist, then stopped abruptly. He should have expected it. By this point Vex had gotten to know the lines and curves of his body as well as he now knew hers. It was only a matter of time before she stumbled across the small irregularity that now had caught her full attention.

“Percy?”

“Hm?” he answered innocently, as if he could delay this conversation.

Her fingers shifted and prodded a bit more definitively around the hard lump in Percy’s side. “What is that?”

“That?” He shifted slightly as if to see what she was touching. “Ah, it’s nothing.”

She pushed back from him now, suspicion sharpening the warm mellowness that had filled her eyes previously. “Percy…”

“What?”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing!”

“Nothing. Really? Well I’m pretty sure _this_ isn’t normal, so what is it?” she demanded, pressing pointedly on the lump.

Percy grimaced, not so much out of pain, but simply the weirdness of feeling the bullet shift inside him. “Fine, it’s something, but nothing that needs to be worried about.”

“I can get Pike. Trinket?”

“We don’t need Pike!” Percy protested as he heard the bear start to shift from his corner of the room, ready to do Vex’s bidding. “I swear, it’s nothing dangerous, I haven’t made any more deals with anything evil, it’s not cursed—well, no more than anything else I’ve worked with…”

“Not reassuring me, darling.”

Percy sighed, hand coming up to rub his face. “All right. It’s a bullet.”

Vex paused now, the stern warning in her expression fading to confusion. She shifted to sit up more, forcing him to back up and letting her get a better perspective of where her hand was still probing his side. Her fingers moved more carefully around the lump of metal, running around the edges gently. “A bullet?”

“Yes,” Percy sighed again, shifting his weight and craning his neck to read her expression as much as he could.

She seemed to be trying to work through possible explanations in her mind, since he wasn’t offering them directly. Trinket gave a concerned grunt, waiting to see if she would give him any further instructions, and she made a reassuring sound back to him.

Finally, she eased back slightly, her face still troubled, one finger tapping her lips. “Percival. You know I don’t question your process, since you always seem to come up with something brilliant in the end. But if this is part of some new invention you’re working on…”

He laughed, the amusement breaking his dread at talking about this. “It’s not—”

“I just think whatever it is, this can’t be the best idea for achieving it, darling,” Vex continued, sounding exasperated.

Percy huffed another chuckle, smiling at her with charmed affection. “No, it’s not for an invention. I didn’t put it there myself. It’s…It’s a leftover. That’s all it is.”

“A leftover?” She looked like she had been hoping it was part of some crazy scheme of his instead of the more logical option. But here they were.

“Yes.”

“So it…” she started, possibly hoping he would still provide a more benign explanation before she reached the one she feared.

“Got there the way bullets usually do.”

“But why is it still there?!” she snapped, tired of the chase.

“Well…” He paused, trying to consider how to address the issue in the most neutral, blame-absolving way.

“Oh gods! We didn’t take them out before healing you!” she gasped, hand flying to her mouth. 

Well, he always had admired Vex’s quick mind.

“In fairness, it’s not exactly a situation we had much experience with,” he reassured her, voice casual. “Most of the people I shot we had no intention of healing, and we typically haven’t had other people firing back at us, historically.”

He hadn’t exactly intended to specify when he had taken this particular bullet, but he saw Vex make the connection immediately. Horror filled her eyes as they darted from his to the lump and back again. “It’s Ripley’s, isn’t it?”

The break in her voice made him regret ever letting this come to her attention. But he wasn’t going to lie to her either. “Most likely.”

Vex stifled a shaky, almost-sob behind her hand. Trinket, who had apparently concluded there wasn’t an actual threat in the room, still lingered nearby, not happy Vex was upset. His eyes met Percy’s in one of those strange moments where Percy knew the bear was assessing how much he was the cause of Vex’s distress versus being the object of her protectiveness. It was a mix of wariness and concern Percy was more acquainted with than most people should expect to be.

But concluding that Trinket just wanted to comfort Vex and wasn’t going to decide he was a risk, Percy returned his focus to the same goal. “If it makes you feel any better, it’s not doing any harm. You and Pike and Keyleth healed everything perfectly. It doesn’t hurt a bit.”

“We didn’t heal everything _perfectly_ if we left a bullet inside you,” she grumbled, her voice still tight. “Gods, Percy, why didn’t you say anything?”

“We’ve had rather larger priorities lately. And like I said, it’s not causing any problems.”

“Are there more of them?”

“Perhaps. None that I’m aware of.” Okay, maybe he was going to lie to her a bit.

She huffed out a frustrated breath, still mentally beating herself up. “How did we not see it? It’s right at the bloody surface!”

“It wouldn’t have been at the time. It didn’t enter there. That’s just where it ended up.” He sat up to illustrate his point. “Probably ran out of momentum before it could get all the way through. But it actually would have entered over here…” He touched the spot on the right side of his body where he estimated the entrance wound had most likely occurred. “Or probably more about here…” He adjusted his calculations, using his other hand to try to recreate the trajectory through his abdomen.

Vex’s fingers on his wrist interrupted his analysis. He looked up to see that all the color had drained from her face, her eyes seeking his, somehow even more miserable than before. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Percy, is that the bullet that killed you?”

He paused. He hadn’t quite thought of it in those terms before. Technically, every wound and slash and bullet he had taken that day had contributed to his death—both of them, he supposed—and he hadn’t assigned any particular meaning or resentment to any one over the others. But in terms of what she was asking…

“I believe so. I mean, I got shot a lot that day, but I don’t remember that one, so it was probably when I was down for the last time—”

He wasn’t even through that much of the explanation before her face crumpled, the tears flowing freely. Regret poured through Percy and he gathered her into his arms, wishing she had never noticed the damned lump of metal. But what was done was done and he simply held her tightly and let her vent her lingering grief into his shoulder, murmuring inadequate words to try to ease her distress.

It was still a source of some amazement to him that not only did he have people in his life who had been moved enough by his death to go through the effort of a resurrection, but that this remarkable woman, with her keen eye for treasure, persisted despite ample reason and evidence to the contrary in seeing something of value within him through the wreckage of who he was.

And he hated that he too often rewarded that dedication with pain and disappointment.

But at least in this moment, he could offer some reassurance. He held her to him, cupping her head and rubbing her back until her breathing calmed enough that she would likely be able to hear him again. “I know. It’s okay. If it helps, it didn’t do a very thorough job about it. Very poor quality. Mine do far more damage.”

He felt Vex chuckle a bit, watery as it was, and smiled slightly. He may not have the extent of magical abilities his teammates had, but he could still weave a certain amount of power with a bit of wit.

“You’re right,” she sighed. “I still hate it.”

“I know. But I’m still here, thanks to you.”

She wrapped her arms a little tighter around his back, possibly confirming for herself that was true. “Mm. I just hate that _it_ is too.”

They stayed like that, Trinket nuzzling against Vex’s leg, until Percy was reasonably sure she was feeling more in control again.

“Percy?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I know it doesn’t bother you, but…could we try to get it removed anyway?”

Percy leaned back, arching an eyebrow as he looked down, drawing on his most officious tone of voice. “Lady Vex’ahlia, you are a baroness of my city. I feel I would be remiss in my duties to allow something here to continue to offend you.”

A full, genuine smile spread across her face and he knew the effort had paid off. Her arms threaded up around his neck. “You know, it’s probably bad of me, but I do love when you get all noble and privileged.”

“Well, a title should come with some advantages. You are, of course, encouraged to put yours to use now and then too. You have a fairly large amount of sway in these parts.”

“Hm.” She shifted backward, pulling him down over her on the bed. “Do I now?”

“Oh yes. Very influential.”

“I see.”

Beside them, Trinket sighed, coming as close as bears can come to rolling his eyes as he started lumbering back toward his corner of the room.

Vex immediately snapped into maternal mode, turning from Percy to comfort the bear. “Sorry, darling! I love you too! Can you just give Mommy some private time for a bit?”

Trinket grumbled, but pushed the door open and headed out, impressing Percy somewhat by remembering to push it closed again behind him.

“Sorry about that,” Vex said, rolling back over to where Percy was waiting patiently above her.

“It’s all right. I knew he was part of the package when I got involved with you.”

“And you’re a very good bear daddy,” she cooed, cupping his face.

Percy grimaced. “Let’s maybe not make that one of our pet names for the bedroom. Or in front of the others.”

She chuckled throatily, sounding like the issue of the bullet was far from her mind again. “As you wish, Lord de Rolo.”

While part of him still found it a bit odd to be called by his title in public, hearing it from Vex’s lips sent a bit of a pleasant shiver through him. “You know, that offer goes for everything that offends you. Say the word and I can have Scanlan thrown out of here.”

“Perhaps, someday. But promise me, darling. Let’s also make it a rule not to mention Scanlan in the bedroom again.”

“Very good rule.”

And for a time there was nothing but the two of them on either of their minds, all thought of death or danger banished from their little bubble of safety in Whitestone. Once they settled down to sleep, Trinket finding his way back to the area as quietly as he could, Percy reflected that of all the perks that came along with his title, the one he had perhaps been most grateful for was its ability to provide a sense of sanctuary, however much of an illusion it may be at times. But his second favorite was how much the power it provided also allowed a sense of control in a world they were too often at the mercy of. Death could strike all too easily, yes, but if even for a few hours he could give Vex an extra sense that she was in charge of the things that upset her, it was a worthwhile effort.

Still, as they drifted into sleep, he felt her hand glide over the lump of the bullet again, before moving further up to curve against his chest, feeling the beat of his heart. And he drew her closer, relishing the warmth of her body against the memory of the cold room under a lake where his mistakes had nearly taken her away from them all as well.

Never again. As long as it was within his power to do so and their ludicrously hazardous lifestyle allowed, he would try to keep the specter of death as far from her as he could.

OOO

Which he supposed was why the next day he found himself kneeling on a chair in Pike’s quarters in Whitestone Castle, leaned forward across a table on his elbows, shirt pulled up to his chest and trousers lowered past his hips, a loosely draped blanket the only thing preventing his further indignity to the world.

When Vex requested they get the bullet removed, he had somehow pictured a bit less of a makeshift situation, preferably something where he was unconscious and woke up a short time later with a new scar but no memory of how the bullet came out.

However, that would require enlisting the aid of a healer in a more public setting, which was not something he was particularly comfortable with, or at the very least involving someone who might inform Cassandra, which would upset her, which was equally uncomfortable. And so, that left enlisting Pike and trying to secure whatever privacy they could in this increasingly busy castle.

“Is this really necessary? There’s no way you could do this where I’m simply lying down?” Percy asked.

“This will be easier if your skin is stretched tight over the bullet,” Vex answered, focused on running her borrowed dagger through the flame of a candle. Percy recognized it as one of Vax’s and hoped sincerely the man didn’t know what his dagger had been procured for.

And that Vex knew them well enough not to take the poisoned one.

“Honestly it would be even better if you arched your back a bit,” she added, shooting him a brief smirk.

“This position is fine,” Percy grumped, settling back on his stomach on the table.

“It won’t take long, Percy,” Pike assured him, standing on a chair beside the table as she tucked some rags under him to catch the blood. “A few minutes of indignity and you can forget it ever happened. I’m sure you can tolerate that.”

Percy huffed again, but didn’t protest further. He was doing this for Vex. If an impromptu surgery was what it took to ease her mind, he had certainly put her through worse.

“So that’s it right there?” Pike asked, touching the barely-visible lump.

“That would be it,” Percy confirmed, still looking forward.

“Sure you don’t want to keep it? It looks pretty cool. You could get people at taverns to buy you drinks in exchange for getting to touch it.”

Percy physically recoiled. “I’m quite certain. I have no desire for strangers in bars to touch me, drinks or no.”

“Besides, he’s plenty cool without having bullets lodged in his body,” Vex said firmly.

“True, true,” Pike conceded. “Still, you should’ve let Grog see it before you got it taken out. It would give him a whole new level of respect for you.”

“I’d honestly rather no one knew about any of this. It’s bad enough both of you know.”

“Well, I’m about ready when you are, so we can have this done in no time with no one else the wiser,” Vex said, twirling the knife a bit too enthusiastically.

Percy glanced over, suddenly feeling hesitant about this whole thing. “I don’t suppose we have anything to do about the pain?”

“I’m not sure the wine’s strong enough, but you’re certainly welcome to try,” Vex offered, mustering a bottle from somewhere out of Percy’s eyeline.

He accepted it, taking a long drink before setting it at his side in easy reach. “It’s better than nothing.”

“You want something to bite on?” Pike asked, looking around. “You’ve got your belt still…”

“I don’t want to end up with toothmarks on my belt. That would be…very inconvenient to have to explain.” Nor did he really want to remove it, even undone as it was. Anything that risked his pants sliding down lower was an undesirable movement.

“Here. You can use this.” Vex held an arrow out. “Just try not to break it.”

“I’ll do my best.” He clamped the shaft of the arrow between his teeth, feeling a little like a horse with a bit.

“All right, then. I think we’re ready to get started,” Vex said, moving back around to Percy’s side next to Pike.

“Pike? Have you seen Vex?”

Percy’s head shot up, eyes wide, as Keyleth suddenly opened the door with only the barest of cursory knocks.

“She’s not in her—OH MY GODS!” She jerked backward, one hand covering her now-averted gaze, the other held out as if to stop what they were doing. “WHAT. THE HELL?”

“Relax, darling, it’s not what it looks like,” Vex said with a great deal more calm than Percy was feeling at that moment.

“Kiki? What is it?”

Oh gods no. Percy gaped in mortification as Vax came racing up to join Keyleth in the doorway, likewise looking scandalized as he took in the situation before him.

“Really, sis?” he snapped, looking at her over the scene while Keyleth continued to shield her eyes. “You guys have your own rooms—luxurious ones I’m sure. Do you really have to do this here?”

“This was the best place to do this hygienically. What’s it to you?”

“Look, whatever kind of…fun you two want to get up to is your business, even if it apparently involves Pike.” Despite his words, the break in his voice at saying her name in this context told Percy how much that idea broke something inside Vax. “But to violate one of _my_ daggers for your… _tryst_? I can’t…”

“Seriously, Vax?” Vex retorted now, gesturing at him with the weapon in question. “That’s what you think? As if we’d honestly just be doing kinky sex things all over in various rooms of the castle.”

Despite the flush coloring his face, Percy made a noncommittal noise with a slightly guilty hand motion.

Vex swatted his back. “He didn’t catch me. He doesn’t know.”

“And I really don’t want to,” Vax said firmly.

“Even if they were doing things somewhat publically or…including third parties, would that really be such a bad thing?” Pike added.

Percy turned around to give her a very surprised and slightly bewildered look.

“I don’t care what they do in their own rooms or with who!” Vax growled back. “But forgive me for not wanting to walk in on my sister boning my friend! Is that too much to ask?”

“I’m not particularly a fan either,” Keyleth agreed.

“We’re not boning!” Percy tried to protest around the arrow in his mouth. Which he admitted was a detail that, out of context, didn’t make his case look much better.

“We heard Keyleth screaming. What’s going on?”

“Oh for the love of…” Percy muttered, horror filled his chest as Grog bounded down the hallway behind Keyleth, Scanlan fast on his heels. This had to be a sick joke…

“Nothing,” Keyleth snorted. “We just stumbled in on _this_ happening.” She gestured into the room, although she still avoided looking in herself.

Grog’s eyes shifted over Keyleth and Vax’s heads and his face split into a wide, hearty grin. “Oh…” He chuckled, leaning his shoulder on the doorjamb. “All right! What kind of party’s going on here?”

“Nothing! Get out!” Percy snarled around the arrow.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I, personally, am _deeply_ offended,” Scanlan declared, pushing between the others’ legs to enter the room. “I thought I made it very clear if any kind of orgy-related situations went on I at the very least wanted an _invite_ to be involved. _Especially_ if Pike was down!”

“We know, Scanlan,” Vex sighed, wearily.

“This isn’t an orgy!” Percy growled. “There’s nothing sexual happening _at all_! Just…fuck off!”

“Now, Percy, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” Scanlan said in his most obnoxiously patronizing voice. He put his hand on Percy’s arm, though Percy jerked it back from his touch. “To be honest, I’m proud of you. It’s healthy to try new things in a relationship. And I know you’re the kind of guy who likes to be in control, so to let yourself be open to being in a role like this is honestly…very progressive of you, Percy.”

Percy stared at Scanlan with a growing aghast feeling, trying to take in the situation in the room through the man’s leering eyes, and the color tried to both creep up his neck and drain from his face at the same time. Removing the arrow from his mouth, he turned partially over to Vex. “Forget the bullet. Just kill me now. Please.”

“Oh, hush, you big baby,” she said with affectionate sternness, gesturing for him to face forward again.

“Wait. Bullet?” Keyleth asked, finally uncovering her eyes to look at them.

“Yes.” Vex turned back to the rest of the party with enough indignant officiousness to make Percy warm with pride. “If you all could have gotten your minds out of the gutter for one moment you might have noticed what we were _actually_ trying to do was a little quick surgery. To remove a bullet stuck in Percy’s side.”

“Wait, _what_?” Keyleth was hurrying into the room now, eyes scanning Percy for injuries.

“It’s an old one, nothing new. Just…finally getting around to having it out,” he said, trying to soothe her concern.

“But what is it doing in there?”

“Got shot,” he replied. “Fairly standard cause.”

“But—” she sputtered, examining the area exposed for surgery.

“Apparently we’ve never thought to remove them when we healed him, so it’s been stuck in his body,” Pike explained.

In the doorway, Percy saw a mix of sympathetic winces and surprised expressions cross the others’ faces. Of course Grog’s was more interest than disgust.

“Wait, so are you, like, full of bits of metal, then?”

“Less than you would think,” Percy answered.

“And in a few minutes, even less than that,” Vex said behind him, shooing Keyleth forward a bit.

Percy had to admit, having the three women fussing over him while the guys stood by in a mix of teasing and curiosity, he felt like he was a child again at the mercy of his gaggle of siblings. Being in his childhood home didn’t help either.

“So, let me get this straight,” Grog said in his most professorial voice. “You’re not doing kinky sexy things, but you’re about to cut Percy open and take bits out of him?”

“In so many words,” Vex allowed.

He grinned, starting to shove his way past Vax. “Right, I’m in.”

“Yeah, I think I’d better oversee this, since it’s my dagger you’re using,” Vax said, sidling in near where Grog was taking a seat on Pike’s bed.

“This isn’t a bloody act for your entertainment!” Percy snapped. “Get out!”

“Percy, we’re your family,” Scanlan said unctuously. “Family should be there for each other at times like this.”

“I disown every one of you. Now get ou—aggh!” His rant was interrupted abruptly as he felt a slicing pain in his side. Grunting, he sucked in a breath and put the arrow back in his mouth. “A little _warning_ , maybe?”

“Sorry, darling, thought it might be easier if you were distracted,” Vex said gently, but then continued the incision. “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Percy resigned himself to focusing on breathing through the pain and enduring every regrettable part of this experience.

Now that there was blood in play, Percy saw Grog perking up, smacking Vax’s arm in excitement and peering over the girls’ heads.

Scanlan remained undesirably close to Percy’s head. “Would you like me to play you a song to distract you?”

“No,” Percy growled. He removed the arrow from his mouth for a moment, opting to take another big swig of the wine before putting it back between his teeth. He could feel the tip of the dagger scraping the metal of the bullet and the sensation wasn’t one he was keen to remember.

“At least it’s just a bullet,” Vax piped up helpfully. “It’d be worse if it was something bigger, like shrapnel.”

“Yeah, I had that phyller—ractor—lich-fuckery-thing yanked out of me,” Grog snorted. “Now _that_ hurt.”

“It’s not a contest, Grog, just trying to look on the bright side,” Vax said diplomatically. “In fairness, none of us have ever been shot, which we appreciate, Freddy.”

Percy managed a magnanimous hand gesture, if a bit of a shaky one.

“Shit.”

His head tried to whip around, managing a questioning noise around the arrow that was only partially a whimper.

“Nothing,” Vex assured him. “Everything’s fine. This is just gonna be a bit harder than I anticipated.”

“The bullet’s not loose in there,” Pike explained for the curious audience. “All the muscle and tissue and stuff’s grown around and attached to it.”

Percy heard Grog scoff “Muscle,” quietly to himself and rolled an incredulous look toward him. _Really? Now?_

“We’ll still get it out. It’s just going to take a little more cutting,” Vex continued. “This dagger’s not _great_ for precision work, but Pike can heal anything extra I cut.”

“Hey, now, let’s not blame the dagger,” Vax said defensively. “It’s not used to having to _not_ kill the person it’s stabbing.”

Percy allowed himself a sigh with a definite whimper aspect to it, trying to ignore the situation.

His attention focused as he heard the incongruous warbling of a flute only a few feet from his head. “I’m going to inspire Vex with little flute solo and dance number. I call it ‘The First Cut is the Deepest (Bullet Removal Edit)’.”

Percy watched Scanlan’s capering movements with a tired glare. While he would never admit to it, thinking about how much he hated the shrill whistling and ridiculous dancing did distract him from what was going on reasonably effectively. Especially when he felt Vex push the tweezers he had obtained from his workshop into the wound to grip the bullet. He managed to stay focused pretty well, all things considered.

At least until the dagger slid in a curving slice right along the edge of the bullet and a shudder went through Percy’s body, his stomach lurching.

A hand rested on his shoulder. Keyleth’s. “Breathe, Percy. It’s okay. It’ll be over soon.”

He hadn’t even realized he had closed his eyes and dropped his head onto his arm, feeling the cold sweat that had broken out across his skin. He focused on doing what she asked, matching his breathing to hers.

“Oh, hey, it’s Cassandra!”

Percy’s head shot up, making himself a little dizzy. The last thing he needed in this hell of a situation was his sister walking in on it all. But even though his vision was a bit blurry, he could see the doorway was empty. And Grog was snickering to himself nearby.

“You’re terrible people,” he slurred, trying not to drool around the arrow. There had to be a line to the amount of pride he would sacrifice today.

Then Vex pulled on the bullet and his vision instantly went gray at the edges. Every muscle in his body spasmed tense and he gritted his teeth, determined not to faint in front of everyone. For gods’ sake, allow him that one shred of dignity.

“Sorry, sweetheart, I’m sorry! It’s attached in there really well.”

“I’m aware!” he tried to retort, but he wasn’t sure the sound he made had syllables, much less a coherent meaning.

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to pull on it to cut the last bit all the way at the bottom,” her voice sounded somewhat far away, but he could still make it out. “But then it’s over, I promise.”

He made some kind of noise of acknowledgment, bracing himself and clenching his fists tightly. Even knowing it was coming, the pain still made his body seize up, the world narrowing to a tunnel. He wasn’t sure if he just couldn’t hear the others at the moment, or if they had realized it wasn’t a good time for a joke and were actually being respectfully quiet. He did feel Keyleth’s hand rubbing his arm slowly, trying to comfort him as it reminded him to breathe.

As the world tried to shrink down, he focused with all the anger and defiance he could summon. He had resisted Orthax’s more demanding corruptions. He could certainly keep himself from passing out in front of his friends over a mere bullet. A shred of metal. He was Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III and he would not give in to such weakness now. Would not allow any modicum of satisfaction to Anna Ripley, even though she still managed to find ways to torture him from beyond the grave.

And then the last bits of tissue gave and the pain was released. Percy sagged onto the table, breathing hard, but still conscious.

“Percy?”

He heard Vex’s worried voice through the darkness and gripped his mind onto it, as he always did. While he didn’t fully trust his voice, he did manage a thumbs up to assure her he was all right.

Then Pike’s cool hands were resting on the wound and he felt the familiar warmth of Sarenrae fill the spaces and knit everything back together. The exhaustion and sickness faded away and he felt almost immediately back to himself, albeit still covered in sweat and some blood.

He let the arrow drop out of his mouth, noting the deep toothmarks pierced into the wood. “Thank you, Pike,” he rasped, voice much steadier. “Can I put my clothes back on now?”

Vex’s voice had a warm chuckle to it. “Yes, darling. You did very well. Reclaim your dignity.”

“All right, let’s see the little fucker,” Vax said, pushing off the bed by Grog and walking over.

Percy froze a terrified moment before seeing Vax was looking at the bullet and finished sliding back into the chair in relief, blanket still wrapped around his hips as he adjusted his trousers.

The others gathered around to look at the bullet, or at least what you could make out of it through the gore and layers of sheared tissue still stuck to it. Percy mused they really needed to get access to better forms of entertainment if this is what captivated all of them these days.

“Not a bad job, sis, but I don’t think they’d hire you at a butcher shop any time soon,” Vax commented.

“Forgive me, usually when I put arrows in something I _want_ to cause damage. This is kind of new territory for us.”

Grog scoffed, wrinkling his nose. “Pfft. That’s what all the fuss was about? I mean if you remove all the Percy bits off it, it’s tiny.”

“She did remove all the Percy bits. That’s why it hurt so much,” Scanlan quipped.

“It always amazes me how much damage those things can do with as small as they are,” Keyleth said, glancing over at Percy.

“I know. Remarkable, isn’t it? How something so important can look so unassuming.” Vex turned the bullet in the light, her vaguely bemused expression belying the dangerous glint in her eyes. “The last bullet of Anna Ripley.”

Ah, Vex. A marksman as adept with the timing and landing of emotional bombs as she was with her arrows. Percy indulged in a dark little thrill of smug pleasure as the mood in the room shifted almost instantly. The levity and teasing drained away as it sunk in what they were looking at and what it meant. Percy used their distraction to make himself presentable again, his more comfortable persona settling back into place as the power in the room deftly slid back to his side of the table.

_Thank you, darling._

“Vex, dear?” he called, resting his elbows on the table and folding his palms together. The rags that had caught his blood during the surgery were still there, but in the moment he figured they helped the image rather than took away from it. “Could I see it too?”

She hesitated and he saw that old suspicion in her eyes. Good. Even now that was probably a healthy state of mind. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

He held up his hands, palms out. “I promise, I’m not going to do anything dark or evil with it and it’s not talking to me. You can even keep holding it yourself if you want. I just haven’t actually seen it before either and I’m curious.”

Vex arched a brief eyebrow to Keyleth and Pike, but shrugged and headed toward the table. Percy felt a twinge of regret as he saw Keyleth’s face over her shoulder, barely holding in the same grief and pain he saw on Vex’s face when she realized the bullet’s significance the night before. And he made a promise to himself to spend some time with her later doing something absolutely ridiculous to help chase away the memories of his death.

But for now, he realized he wasn’t even as concerned with the power play he was putting on. As Vex handed the bullet to him and he took it directly from the grip of the tweezers, he came face to face with his literal killer for the first time. Sure it had been inside him ever since, but he hadn’t seen it. Like the others said, it wasn’t much to see. A warped slug of metal covered in gore and viscera. It didn’t radiate any kind of magical importance or evil intent. Didn’t look particularly ominous. More like a piece of scrap Percy would throw away or melt down if it was lying around his workshop. It was inert. Insignificant. Meaningless.

This bullet held no power over him anymore. What haunted his dreams were the bullets yet to be made since Ripley had already dispersed the designs.

_She will haunt me for the rest of my life. But for today…in one less way._

“That’s certainly a one-of-a-kind item,” Vax said softly, his voice somber. “Could be an interesting trophy to have.”

“It could,” Percy mused, turning the bullet around in the light like a jeweler assessing a gem. Then he dropped it into his palm and tossed it over to Vex, who caught it despite her surprise. “But I’d say you’re the one who earned this. It’s yours, to do with whatever you see fit.”

The most satisfying part of his authority was being able to use it to shift the balance of power in situations around him. If Vex had felt powerless in the face of his death and the reminder of it last night, then he was more than happy to put her in control of the final closure for that whole painful chapter.

Vex seemed to recognize the intent of the gesture, giving him a keen look as she used the tweezers to grip the bloody mass again and wiped her palm on the rags. “I think…the most fitting thing to do with this is take it downstairs and throw it in the acid like your pepperbox.”

Percy grimaced, rubbing his face, only vaguely caring that he was smearing a bit of his own blood onto it. “Ugh. You had to remind me. But yes, that does sound like an appropriate idea.”

He pushed himself up from the table, feeling entirely himself again and extended his elbow for her to take. “Shall we?”

“I’m up for it.” She took his arm in her own. “Anyone else up to go throw a bullet in some acid?”

“You know, fun as that sounds, I think we should let you two have some time to yourselves since we kind of crashed one party already,” Keyleth said in a way that with most groups would have brooked no argument.

“Aw, but I want to see it get all fizzy and maybe have another demon come out of it,” Grog protested.

“There are way more interesting spirits in the wine cellar, Grog. Let’s go there instead,” Scanlan suggested.

“I don’t follow you.”

“Spirits? Like—Never mind, it’s not important.”

Grog’s eyes suddenly lit up. “There’s ghosts in the basement! And wine!” And he was off and running again down the corridor.

“To be fair, he’s not wrong,” Percy sighed.

“I’ll try to keep him out of the crypt,” Scanlan said, then winked. “And the acid room in case you guys decide you do want to try what we thought you were up to earlier.”

“Thank you, Scanlan.”

“No pressure, just saying, if you want to.”

“Goodbye, Scanlan.”

“Stubby, before you go,” Vax said, holding out a hand expectantly as Scanlan left.

“What?” Vex asked.

“My dagger?”

“Oh! I set it on the table when I was done.” She pointed back to the rags Pike was now cleaning up, but the table was empty. “Oh yeah, I set it down, so…”

She looked back and Vax patted his belt, finding all three right back where they belonged. “Ah. Never mind then. Have fun.”

“You’re such a dork, brother.”

“But you love me for it.” He grinned, tousling her hair as he headed out.

“Percy.”

A hand on his arm made him pause. He looked over to see Keyleth standing nearby, clearly wanting to say more, but nothing was quite ready just yet. The guilt and grief and worry mingling in her eyes promised a long, heart-felt conversation that there wasn’t time for at the moment.

“Later.” He squeezed her arm reassuringly. “We’ll talk.”

“Okay. I’m glad you’re okay.” She gave him a pat on the cheek and followed Vax out to the hallway.

“Oh, I’m glad you’re okay too,” Pike piped up from where she was stuffing the rags into a waste container.

Percy smiled, amused, as he and Vex turned back, nearly having forgotten she was there. “Thank you. And thank you for the healing.” He winced at the state of the room. “Sorry to leave you with a mess to clean up.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” She looked around, then back up a little sheepishly. “Sorry we left a bullet inside you.”

“It’s all right. Lived to tell the tale, which is more than should have been expected. Here’s hoping one day I can stop asking you all to remove evil things from me.”

“Aw, well, we can dream,” she smiled in that oddly charming way without judgment or irony.

“We’ll see you for dinner, Pike?” Vex asked.

“Of course. See you then.”

As Percy and Vex strolled into the hallway together, Percy cocked his head. “How did we end up with so many weird, but kind of endearing people in our lives?”

“I don’t know. But here we are.”

“Yes, here we are.”

And honestly, if anyone had asked him a few years ago, Percy would never have imagined that this was where he would one day be. Strolling through his family’s castle, busy and restored to life with people from all around Tal’Dorei working safely within its walls, arm-in-arm with a woman he truly loved, who even now was nonchalantly carrying a bloody bullet she had cut out of him as if they were on their way to a picnic instead of to drown their ghosts in a lake of acid.

All in all, it was better than he ever could have expected.

But he inhaled deeply, stretching his ribs to feel the little scrape of bone against the bullet he still knew nestled deep below his chest. That one he had absolutely no intent of letting the others know about. In part, yes, to avoid a far more invasive and likely public surgery, which would be the inevitable outcome. But also, he took a certain solace in having it there. Vex may want all reminders of his darker times eradicated, but he knew there was value in never forgetting what had transpired. Getting too comfortable was a risk in itself, one his family had paid already in blood that would never be fully cleansed from these walls. And his own sins were already spreading across the continent, biding their time before they would come back around and eventually he would be on the wrong end of a gun again, perhaps permanently. Until then, it paid to remember all of this could be lost at any time, and that the people he loved had given him another chance at life to do his best to make sure that did not happen.

His thoughts were interrupted as Vex gently threaded her arm out from his and slid it down around his waist, her fingers gently tracing the area the bullet had been, finding now only smooth skin.

“Satisfied?” he asked.

She smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I am.”

He draped his now-freed arm around her, encouraging her to stay that close. “Good. So am I.”


End file.
